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Saturday, March 24, 2012

BEST ON SCREEN COACHES

TV AND FILMS TOP COACHING ROLES
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ?
Plenty of big name talent missed out making this list. Gene Hackman in Hoosiers out of the top 10. The rules are simple any actor or non professional coach playing a role in a scripted production was eligible. You will also notice Kurt Russell is not on the list for the simple reason that hockey is irrevelant.

Voting was placed using the following criteria:
1. How memorable was the role?
2. How good of movie?
3. How successful was the coach?
4. The level at which they coached.


HONORABLE MENTION:
ARTHUR CHANEY. Bill Cobbs in AIR BUD. Obviously the quality of the movie and level at which he coaches hurts Chaney here. Former New York Knicks Player turned Engineer, Bill steps in as a mid season replacement to the middle school. Had foresight to see The Golden Retriever had skills similar to Jeremy Lin.

ERIC TAYLOR. Kyle Chandler in FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. Promoted from the Offensive Coordinator position Taylor lead the Panthers to a Texas High School Football State Championship in his first and only season as the team's head coach. Leaving for the college level we see his progression up the coaching ranks. He is currently the head coach of the mighty TMU located near Austin.

Conor O'neill Keanu Reeves in HARD BALL. This degenerate gambler is put to work in the inner city of Chicago coaching a baseball team of "at risk" kids. After bonding with the team we see the kids start to play good ball. Extra bonus points for a Notorious BIG song being their anthem. One season of coaching one 'chip. That's not shabby.

TOP 10 COACHES

photo courtesy of dvdinmypants.com
10. COACH BUTTERMAKER. Walter Matthau in THE BAD NEWS BEARS. The alcoholic washed up minor leaguer was dealt a horrible team. What does he do? Recruits like John Calipari, landing a legitimant ace pitcher and the equivalent of a McDonald's All-American athlete to roam CF. Result? A lot like the Texas Rangers losing a close World Series last year, the Bears came up just short. Still going from last place to playing in the championship in one season? Very Kirk Gibsonesque.

photo by flavorwire.com

9. WHITE GOODMAN. Ben Stiller in DODGEBALL. A surprise by many the Fitness Guru and Gym Owner gets enough votes to sneak on the list. White recruits a team of superior athletes and qualifies for the Dodgeball tournamant in Vegas. Goodman turns into a Player/Coach and leads his team deep into the tournament. Grabbing pointers from Bill Belichick he gains his advantage being video taping his opponents practices. Dwight makes our list because he not only was he the floor general he was All Tournament Team caliber talent .

photo by obnug.com
8. TOM EMANSKI starring in his own instructional videos. This set of 9 videos lay out the proper fundamentals for efficient fundamentally sound play. A true infomercial king, his series is commonly referred to as the "the nine commandments" This former youth 1B coach somehow scratched a check big enough for the Crime Dog, Fred McGriff to endorse it. His "building block" approach to fundamentals resulted in Back to Back to Back AAU National Championships. Throwing balls into trash cans from the outfield and swinging out of your ass in soft toss are some of his favorite drills.

7. COACH PETE BELL. Nick Nolte in BLUE CHIPS. a college basketball coach for the fictional Western University Dolphins does him no favors with voters here. Showing his ability that he could coach in the SEC, Bell isn't afraid to pay for play. Offering luxury sedan's, job's to parents and cash this coach shows his desire to win. Any coach that can get Shaq, Penny and some white guy that can shoot shows he is a great recruiter, one of the biggest jobs a college coach has.


photo courtesy of retrojunk.com
6. BILLY HEYWOOD. Luke Edwards in LITTLE BIG LEAGUE. The 12 year old owner of the Twins decides to fire the manager and replaces him with himself. "It's the American League! They have the DH! How hard can it be?" Of course the team quickly jumps into contention. They somehow make up 4 games in the standings in 4 days. The Twins force a 1 game playoff and end up losing in the bottom of the 12th by Griffey Jr. robbing them. Still going fromlast place to forcing a play in game in half a season is nice.

photo courtesy of and soitbeginsfilms.com
5. TONY D'AMATO. Al Pacino in ANY GIVEN SUNDAY. D'Amato is a Thirty year coaching veteran currently overseeing the Miami Sharks. Having won 2 of versions of the movies "SuperBowl" he is in the class of a Tom Coughlan. Known or his conservative offense he prefers the ground and pound philosophy of football. Making it all the way to their version of the SuperBowl using his 3rd string QB shows his system is successful.

photos from starpulse.com
4. BUD KILMER. Jon Voight in VARSITY BLUES. West Canaan High School's legendary Football coach is known for his 22 District Titles and 2 State Championships. His win at all cost attitude sits well with these voters. A bad ass, no nonsense coach you better not complain of a broken arm to this coach, you get your ass back out on that field. You can't argue with results and Kilmer sure has racked up a lot of wins in his day.

photo courtesy of yahoo sports
3. LOU BROWN. James Gammon in MAJOR LEAGUE. Former tire sales man of month and Toledo Hens Coach, Brown is plucked out of Just Tires to manage the Cleveland Indians. Given a roster designed to lose the Indians start out slow. Brown used the unconventional strategy of bribing his team with a nude photo shopped fathead of the new bitchey owner. Every time the team wins an article of clothing is removed from the cutout. Of course the team goes on and plays like they were the Big Red Machine. Coach Brown decided to go with the veteran Harris in the one game playoff and that proved to be a great move and of course telling Vaughn to "give him the heater" showed us he could manage a pitching staff on par with Tony LaRussa. "you may runs like mays but you hit like sh*t" is a classic example of his analytical mind at work. Remember he is the one who figured out Vaugh needed glasses.

photo from johncandymovies.com

2. IRV BLITZER. Jon Candy in COOL RUNNINGS. Former US double gold medal winner in bobsled turned gambling junkie, Irv is convinced to teach and coach a bunch of Jamaican dudes that have never seen a bobsled before. And can you believe it? They qualify for the Olympics. Not only that but on the second day into competition they sit in 8th place and are firmly in the mix with the worlds elite. While they don't medal simply qualifying a Jamaican team in a winter Olympics event is or of the most remarkable achievements in sports.

photo courtesy of icsluk.co.uk
1. HERMAN BOONE. Denzel Washington in REMEMBER THE TITANS. Like taking over for the legendary Coach Yost wasn't hard enough. Turns out people living in the South in the early '70's didn't like black people. Tough spot for Denzel to be in. A Virginia High School Football Hall of Fame Nominee, Boone coached with the pressure of, if he lost a single game he would be fired. Fighting racism and winning games. Result? State Championship.

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