BEST BASKETBALL ROLES: MOCKING A DRAFT

BEST BASKETBALL ACTING ROLES

OF ALL TIME

WHO WILL BE # 1?

COUNTING DOWN HOLLYWOODS BEST BASKETBALL CHARACTERS: 

The rules are simple, they have to be a made up character. So no Michael Jordan playing himself in Space Jam,  no Hank Gathers or Pistol Pete on this list.

The rankings come from a judging panel of highly respected fantasy basketball owners and movie critics. Yes I polled some nerdy people. They were asked to rank the top 10 movie ball players based on these factors.

1. Quality of the show. we like Scarface and we look down upon movies like Gigli.

2. Level of ball. is it college basketball of NJB?

3. Value to Team. was the player an MVP candidate? or was he a Luke Walton?

4. Fantasy Basketball Rankings. is he the make believe Lebron James?

#12.  BUDDY. AIR BUD.  A true shooting guard BUD has crazy hops too. The only k9 to make this list this stud only appeared in one game and it just happened to be the Championship Game. Coming off the bench this Golden Retriever draws comparison to Jason Terry, as he adds instant offense when he gets in. Already has more Rings than Lebron.

#11.  GRANDMAMA. FAMILY MATTERS.  Larry Johnson dressed up as an old lady who can slam dunk it harder than Blake Griffin. Teaming up with Urkel they won the Chicago City Tournament. Her age hurts her draft stock on this list but could step in and contribute for a playoff contending team right away. 

#10.  ZACK MORRIS. SAVED BY THE BELL. Scouts love his versatility. is there anything Zack wasn't good at? He played varsity baseball, basketball, ran track, was in the glee club, dance committee, was on the academic bowl team and was video year book editor. A real all around talent on the basketball court especially, his game was compared to that of Chris Mullins. White guy with 20ft knock down jumper. Knee injury has many scouts wondering if he is still a first rounder.

#9.  SIDNEY DEANE. White Men Can't Jump. The trash talking street hustler has game the skill set of a young Shawn Marion. Ballin' it up on the streets of Venice we see the guy has definite next level game. Look for Sidney to be a top 10 pick in any hollywood fantasy draft. Many project him as a 20 point 5 assist guy.

#8. Jamal Jeffries. Juwanna Mann. a basketball star whose undisciplined on-and-off-court antics have earned him a bad reputation in the basketball community.  Jamal out of work, and lacking any other sort of skills, decides to dress up as a woman named "Juwanna Mann" to play for the Charlotte Banshees of the WUBA (fictional version of the WNBA). Think Kobe playing for L.A. Sparks.

#7 Quincy McCall. Love And Basketball.  Scouts have taken clear notice of Quincy, who many see as one of top prospects in the country. His popularity is evident on the court as well with several girls who attend his school.  In the movie Quincy plays five years in the NBA after leaving USC after his freshman season, serving as a bench player for the Los Angeles Lakers. While injuries ultimately end Q's career short for the purpose of this draft we assume everyone is able to pass a physical prior to the draft.

#6.  CALVIN CAMBRIDGE. LIKE MIKE. Bow Wow has game like Jordan. Size hurts him, but when you can jump over 7 footers like David Robinson who needs to be 6'5? Shades of Spud Webb with the offensive ability of Allen Iverson, he would be an instant draw to any franchise looking to boost ticket sales.

 

#5.   BUTCH McRAE. BLUE CHIPS.  Typical raw college player with all the ability in the world. Projected as a top 5 scoring guard in the Association this guy is ready for to help a young team push for the playoff's right now. Think a young Penny Hardaway fresh out of Memphis. Perennial All Star?

    # 4.   SALEH. AIR UP THERE.  The overseas 7 foot project was found in a tiny village in Africa. Saleh while certainly a project projects nicely at the next level. A franchise caliber center to clog the middle, while he can also go out and get you 12-15 points a night. Many compare him to an offensively gifted Ben Wallace.

#3.  JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH. HE GOT GAME. Straight out of High School he is ready for the bright lights of the NBA already. A shooting guard, some say the safest pick in the draft. One of the most gifted scores coming out of high school in years his game projects nicely in the NBA. For some reason his game reminds me of Hall of Famer Ray Allen.

#2.   NEON BOUDEAUX. BLUE CHIPS.  A potential game changer for the lucky franchise that takes him. A 7 ft monster in the middle he led his Western University Dolphins to a win over the #1 ranked team in the Nation while in college. Many fear he will pull an Oliver Miller and eat himself out the NBA. A career 42% free throw shooter also scares many scouts away. With all that said he has the biggest upside potential in the draft he can stay focused.

#1.   Scott Howard. TEEN WOLF.  Have you seen this kid? Out of nowhere he leads his high school squad from last to first. In what appears to be a spiked level of testosterone his game goes from last guy off the bench to Lebron James in high school. With the dribbling abilities of CP3, the passing of Jason Kidd and the scoring ability of Kobe its no wonder the player they call Teen Wolf is the projected #1 pick.